Tuesday, May 5, 2015

She's Leaving Home

The Listen To Your Mother Show is making its Evansville splash this Saturday, May 9, at 7 p.m. The national production of the Listen To Your Mother Show has been wildly successful across the country and two brilliant, progressive-minded Evansville women brought the production to the River City. Hillary Melchiors & Kate McKinney felt so strongly about the production that they applied for a local show & won the opportunity to produce the show here. The dynamic duo has worked untold hours creating a show that I dub "a masterpiece."  The audience will hear 13 original pieces read by local authors.
Kate McKinney & Hillary Melchiors
I am honored to have made the cut for the show & I'm excited to read my colorful piece on motherhood. The cast recently met for a read-through of our pieces & interestingly, women who mostly didn't know one another, began to bond & find comfort in our stories. 
That same experience awaits you at the show.
At the website you can view videos of previous productions, however, I am quite partial to the Evansville inaugural show-- it will make Mother's Day a memorable & special weekend.

Get all the info at this site -- purchase your tickets now ($15) - Proceeds from the show benefit 4C of Southern Indiana, Inc. - a community childcare program


My Music Nugget Of The Day:
"Your Mother Should Know" - a rather simple song & a rather bizarre video!


She's Leaving Home

The past year has been a life changer for my mother. While I've tried to suppress the need to write about it, it is surfacing to a point that I must share.
While hearing The Beatles' song "She's Leaving Home," the lyrics "she's leaving home after living alone for so many years," was not written about a senior citizen who has moved from her home to "another home." It's about a young lady with promise of the future (and the heartache that her parents endure with that loss). Today I reflect on "She's Leaving Home" in relation to my mother, who left her independent home-life roughly a year ago. I brought her to live in my home for a short time & then felt she could live alone in a senior care community. That lasted 90 days. Since that time we've been in & out of the hospital, rehab & finally a nursing home.
Many days I feel like I've left my home, too, as I struggle to provide her with a decent presence on this earth.
The home where she lives is not unlike most nursing facilities in the country. There is no great possibility for her to go somewhere that will make her feel terrific 24/7. Nearly every day I make that 7 minute drive to her "home" where I am usually faced with turmoil, sadness, loneliness, anger, pain and suffering. Some days it is more than I can take. My mom and I are not alone in this world...everyday I see the health care workers who want to pull out their hair, but go into a room full of odor and sadness with a bright smile.
We've had a long, cold lonely winter & she's been out of the home only a couple of times since Christmas day. I go as often as possible and I paint her nails, read to her (currently reading She Loves You by Jude Kessler) and it takes her away. She has endured 8 different roommates (2 of which passed away, 1 was pretty mean --she called my daughter & I the "evil twins"). I can't give her nice perfume or clothes because they disappear by mistake or otherwise. She won't let me leave her photo albums there for fear they will be misplaced. She has no semblance of "home."
I see the people who slowly wheel around the hallways, knowing that my smile may cheer them for 3 seconds, but then my smile is not remembered.
There is not an answer to this problem. My mother may live another 30 years in what I must only think is Hell. She can still motor around, with limits. She has some memories. About 1 sentence out of 100 makes complete & total sense & I twinge with horrible guilt because I know she's still in there & she has good things to get out.
But she feels pain, loneliness, sadness. She still wants a life, but her physical body will not cooperate. Holding her hand, which is wrecked from arthritis, fingernails that won't stay attached and severe bruising....I try to hold on because I remember her holding mine with every scary visit at the dentist.
My husband and I have a blended family (I have 3 kids and he has 5)...and the care of my mother has been much more work than all 8 of our children combined (and that's saying a lot). Everyone has been patient with me in every way as I lumber along this path of care. My mother's demise in health is due to a medication that she took for chronic arthritis issues & it came with risks that she acknowledged & agreed to. The damage from the meds has exceeded what I feel must have been any benefit. She has a condition which causes her bones to break quite easily (7 broken vertebrae in a 6 month period). Her mental status is unnerving & unmanageable to me. And I have the best handle on it.
The days that I plan to spend time with her are my black days. It takes everything I have to manage her. I'm trying to be better.
On this Mother's Day I will say a prayer that she can be comfortable & happy for just a little while. I will pray for those who are faced with similar challenges as well.


Another Music Nugget Of The Day:

"She's Leaving Home" has become a favorite of mine & this video is quite enjoyable! The musician who played the gorgeous harp in the song tells her story of finding out she was playing with The Beatles! This is the only Beatles song which does not contain the Fabs playing an instrument!


Happy Mother's Day!

Rock Your Mom's Socks Off!
My buddy, Susan Masino, has a great follow up edition!

AC/DC FAQ: All That’s Left to Know About the World’s True Rock ’n’ Roll Band (Backbeat Books), by Susan Masino

"Madison-based writer Susan Masino is on the money with the “all that’s left to know” end of her subtitle. Under the section “The Women Who Influenced AC/DC,” she name checks every female mentioned in their lyrics—and why presumably they were so honored. The Australian hard rockers are not usually classed with the early punk scene, but Masino recounts the story of their little-known 1977 gig at CBGB."
Review by David Luhrssen of the Shepard Express in Milwaukee, WI

Don't forget -- for a short time - Mother's Day Specials at:



Lanea Stagg
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